Da Joyfull Challenge!

Happy New Year Everybody. Like most of you, I have made some new years resolutions in an effort to have some impact in 2007. I've done similar things in previous years, without much success, so this year I've decided to take a different approach. Let me introduce Max Danger's Common 2007 Resolutions Solution Strategy:

• Drink less beer. Ok, so a lot of people I've spoken to have mentioned that they want to drink less beer in 2007. I find this offensive. Beer is the best invention ever (right up there with melted cheese), and as much as humanely possible should be consumed at every opportunity. However, if you still feel the desire to reduce your intake, there's actually no need. Just start hanging around with alcoholics. By comparison, your own consumption won't seem over the top, and you can feel a lot better about yourself when you crack you're first coldie at 6pm, instead of 8am, like your new mates.
  
• Save More Money. Again, this seems to be a common one, albeit totally unecessary. Like the saying goes, 'You can't take it with you' - money is there to be spent. But if you are concerned about moula, you can achieve peace of mind about your savings situation by thinking about your bank account in terms of the Vietnam Dong (VND) instead of the Aussie Dollar (AUD). Let's say you've got $500 in your account at the moment. ZING, that's worth 6,348,730 Vietnamese Dong. No need to ask yourself twice 'can I really afford that extra pint?' when you're a fricken millionare, is there?
• Lose Weight. Just start hanging out with people fatter than you are. By comparison you'll look skinny. If you can't find fatties to form your new fatty gang, move to America. They've got heaps of 'em. That, or take up Sumo, where those extra couple of kilo's are revered.
  

I'm here to help, so if you need any other tactful advice just let me know.

As you know, Max Danger often does stupid things. He's recently been trying to influence other people to also attempt stupid and pointless feats. In this vain, the 'Joyfull 24hr Challenge' was born. Joyfull is a low budget good quality Japanese family restaurant, that's open twenty four sev, and many an hour has been spent just chilling out, chatting, and taking full advantage of the refillable drink bar, which has mountain dew AND tea and coffee. After spending about four and a half hours in Joyfull the other day, we noticed there was a table of four japanese office ladies, who appeared to have been there a lot longer than we had, and were showing no signs of finishing up as we walked out the door. This prompted the question 'how long can one stay in the restaurant?'. Thus, 'The 24 hr Joyfull Challenge' was born. A few sms's were sent to gauge interest, and pretty soon we had a starting line up. Closer to the event we decided to scale the challenge back a bit for the first attempt, and set the target as a measly six hours. Here's a log of the night.

17:58 Me, fern, chris and heather walk in the doors, supplies in tow (cards, boardgames etc). Restaurant kinda busy.
18:01 First round of beers ordered.
18:05 Beers arrive. Happiness ensues.
18:10 Chris attempts to explain the rules of chess. Everyone ignores him.
18:11 Play a card game called Chase the Ace. I get knocked out early.
18:27 Heather wins. Fern then explains the rules of Euchre.
18:42 Next round of beers ordered.
18:50 Beer arrive. Kampai's all round.
19:36 Snacks ordered. Mikey and Heather declare themselves out of the 'Don't break the seal competition' and head to the bathroom. Sniggers received from Fern and Chris.
19:40 Smoke starting to get to ferns eyes.
19:49 Chris breaks the seal. Fern declared winner.
19:50 Chris announces that he could've held on longer. Everyone "Whatever's" him.
19:54 Beers arrive.
19:58 Snacks arrive. Fries sent back cos they're cold. The three waitresses servicing about 35 tables seem to be pretty busy.
20:04 Log get's 'shrimped' due to some careless chopstick work by chris. See stain at top right of original paper log for details.
20:06 Reinforcements (Jeff and Lauren) rock up.
20:26 Jeff and Lauren's food arrives.
20:35 During conversation, Fern remarks "You can put video on the internet". 5 people respond with a sarcastic "really?" at the same time.
20:41 Heather makes an origami accordian, her origami skills praised.
20:44 'Table of Truth' declared. Heather's accordian promptly rubbished, because it turns out it was meant to be a flower.
20:52 Dream interpretation session starts. Table decides that Chris's recent dreams represent the fact that he doesn't really want to go home.
20:58 Jeff busts out his travel monopoly set. Time to get our monopoly on!
21:15 Monopoly set up. Rules explained/debated/argued about.
21:28 Next round of beers arrive.
21:35 Heather hits the first free parking, scoops around 2 large. Jealous.
22:04 Mike builds first hotels on purple.
22:32 Beers arrive.
23:10 Monopoly going off.
23:24 Ed get's props for showing up, even if it is a little late.
23:25 Beers arrive. Monopoly still in progress, no one out yet.
23:32 Chris beginning to get sloppy. Pours beer on himself while attempting to drink. Crowd loved it.
23:34 Fernando on the rocks, beginning to mortgage properties.
23:47 Lauren first out. She got trounced by the 'row of death' then landed on Jeff's hotels. Ouch.
00:19 Monopoly over, after a rapid descent into chaos. Crowd got a little bit bored of the whole thing. Chris and Jeff declared joint winners.
01:12 Chris explains the term 'Cuckold'. Apparently it means a man whose wife is adulterous.
01:25 Mikey checks out after 7 hours 27 minutes, to go meet a friend and deal with some relationship issues. (Postscript - issues weren't dealt with well at all).
01:48 Fern and Heather have a chess off.
02:56 Remaining crew feeling the pinch.
03:20 After nine hours plus, surviving members call it a night. Bill totals 16,000 Yen ($160 aussie), including 33 pints. Well done crew, well done.

Photo Log:

18:14 Initial Crew



19:09 Chris and Mike Playing Euchre



00:33 The Gang Throwing up 'J's' (for Joyfull, of course)



02:01 Fern and Heather Locked in Battle



03:22 Fern, Chris and Heather, Approximately Nine and a Half Hours Later.


Next challenge = twelve hours. Ezy!

New Segment: Maxie's Toon of the Week
Somewhere over the Rainbow, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.

Till next time peeps. Keep it real '07 style,
Maxi.