Fight Club, Kumamoto Style

So I is chillin' on a Sunday night after a productive weekend of teaching, drinking, studying and playing soccer, when I gets a text from my friend Gi. Gi happens to own a bar in Kumamoto, called Shark Attack, which we've been spending one or two nights at lately - so much so that were on 'texting terms' with the owner. It was a pretty short message but basically said there was a party going on, and that me and fern should come down. Shark Attack is a cosy little place, where the drink prices are reasonable, and here's the clincher - it has sand on the floor. Awesome. It's the closest thing you'll get to to drinking at the beach in the city.
Being quite partial to a few casual sunday night social beers I decided to head in and have a look. Turns out it was some dudes birthday party, so the joint was pretty packed. That said, the place is not much bigger than a decent sized phone booth, so there was maybe 15 people in there.
I was having a chat with a few peeps over in the corner of the bar when we noticed a bit of a commotion - Round 1. One extremely drunk japanese dude started a fight with his mate, right in the middle of the bar. I use the term 'fight' very loosely, as there was not much more than a little bit of push and shove, with the occasional hair-pull thrown in the mix as well. After a few stunned moments of thinking 'what the fuck is going on here?' me, fern and joel eventually realised what was happening and jumped in to break it up. I ended up bear hugging one dude (who wasn't that pissed), while fern and joel took the drunken antagonist (D.A.) outside. Luckily I'd done like 1000 push ups that day, so my massive pythons were up to the task. Gi was also in the thick of it, but cos he's a little chinese bloke he was appreciative of the help. Everyone seemed to calm down a bit, and the guy I was restraining wanted to go outside and check on his friend (the D.A), and take him home. I asked the question 'is it a good idea to let them go out so soon after one another' but was assured that the situation was under control, everyone was now calm, it'd be ok. So said friend walks outside, and sure enough within two seconds Round 2 begins. D.A. had piped up again, so it was on for young and old, just outside the bar. We all rush outside, and to make matters even more interesting D.A's girlfriend has had enough of her boyf being a complete jerk, so she decided to enter the fray as well. In typical girly fight style she started scratching, screaming and kicking at D.A. Fern got the job of restraining her while me and joel and matsu seperated the lads for the second time. It wasn't till later that one of the boys asked "so fern, did you cop a feel or what?". Charming.
By this stage it was high time that D.A was ejected from the premisis, which is easier said than done considering Shark Attack is on the eighth floor. Took me a few seconds to master the art of holding a guy in a headlock with one arm, while trying to push the 'down' button for the elevator with the other, but eventually got it down pat. Me and Gi took D.A. downstairs and politely asked him to leave, but he was all over the place. He would swing between kneeling prostrate on the ground, apologising profusely to both of us, and then two seconds later he'd be having a go again. I ended up taking out the trash - literally. He wouldn't leave so I pushed him away from the door, and he fell over into some garbage bags. Classic. He finally got the message and headed off, so it was back to the bar for some post fight analysis, adrenaline calming brewskies. Note to self - if a party ever looks like it's getting boring, just start a fight. It gives the crowd something to talk about. And they love it.
So we're getting back into the groove, when twenty minutes later D.A. rocks back in, arms swinging. Round 3. Fern was first in the line of fire and copped a weak punch to the jaw, before he managed to grab D.A in a head lock and took him to the floor. I ran over and tried the old 'kneel on the head' move as fern was copping a bite to the arm for his troubles. Three of us took him downstairs and outside, at one stage Joel had him pinned against the wall while we were waiting for the elevator, but he wouldn't get in. By this time we were all a little worked up/starting to get emotional/very angry, so I grabbed his throat and started squeezing. It seemed to have the desired effect because he was a lot more co-operative when he realised he wouldn't be able to breathe unless he went were we wanted him to. We got him downstairs and some cops were around the corner so we got their attention and left D.A. to them before heading back to the bar.
I must say that I'm not sure if I can call myself a ninja master quite yet, considering there was three of us versus one extremely drunken japanese dude. However I did get to field test a couple of choke holds that I learnt at Krav, one in particular was very effective. Also glad that no one got hurt, there wasn't a serious punch thrown in the whole thing.
This was the first barney that I've seen so far (let alone been in!), I mentioned it to a few of my students the next day, who said that they've never seen a fight in their whole lives, so I don't think it happens very often.
But, to sum up, the whole night was TOTALLY AWESOME.

Speak soon and keep punching,
Max Danger
On the Spot Enforcer